Tag / unicorn

by Erin Nowicki

SPD vs. A Pandemic World

I thought it would be fun to write a post from the perspective of living in this pandemic world as someone who has SPD. If you have some of your own perspective on how the pandemic has affected you or someone you know with SPD, I’d love to chat about it! Either drop a comment on this post or feel free to email me.

**First, let me establish that I DO NOT have the coronavirus.**

**Second, I wanted to personally thank all of the first responders, healthcare workers and other essential workers (yes, I’m also talking to YOU teachers, nannies, grocery store employees, ETC…). You all are ROCKSTARS and our world wouldn’t function without you. **

Wash Wash Wash Your Hands

For me personally, washing my hands (and showers whenever I actually take one hahaha) is one of my least favorite daily activities haha. I choose to do it only when its absolutely necessary. So, the moment my hubby told me about what was happening with Covid-19 and that we are going to have to be extra careful, I was like, “NOOOOOOO that means I have to wash my hands more!” I know it doesn’t sound trivial, but seriously…washing my hands sucks.

⤅When I get to work, I wash my hands.

⤅When I come back inside from playing with my nanny kids, I wash my hands.

⤅When I go to the restroom, I wash my hands (obviously).

⤅When I get in my car after being in the store or gas station, I wash my hands (with sanitizer).

⤅When I get home from work, I wash my hands.

That’s a TON of washing hands! Eekers! :p

Soap and hand sanitizer feel so slimy and soft…yuck to the yuck! Not only does the soap hurt, but the entire process hurts as well. The water, the towel to dry off and the feeling afterwards all cause different feelings of pain. I can’t stand the way my hands feel after being washed, mainly because I don’t like the soft feeling that is left over. Even a few minutes after, I can still feel the pain from the water and the towel.

🙊 Speak No Evil 🙊

The one thing I knew when it came to my mask of choice is that I wanted to make sure unicorns were on it. Before I had this sweet, handmade mask (second pic), I decided to use my unicorn scarf. Might as well try to bring a little magic into people’s days right?

Thanks Stasia for my unicorn mask!

Yes, the pictures are full of squinty smiles, but to be honest, wearing a mask is irritating and painful. I totally feel for the healthcare workers out there (especially those who have SPD) who have to wear masks all day…you guys really are having go through the ringer. I’m so lucky to not have to wear a mask at my job. (I’m a nanny for an amazing family.) When I go to the store, I try to get in and get out asap so I can take off the mask.

To describe the pain a little more- since the mask isn’t giving me any deep pressure (good thing cause I wouldn’t be able to breathe hahaha), I can feel the fabric rubbing across every inch of my skin like a burn or sting. After I take it off I have to rub my face to try to reset the nerves…it doesn’t fully help but it takes some of the pain away. My ears don’t really hurt except when I put the mask on and take it off because the straps don’t move once on.

**If you have any questions for me about other things that might be bothering me during this pandemic, please leave a comment and I’d be happy to respond! :D**

Some food for thought: I urge you to not jump to conclusions if you hear someone (at any age) complain about things bothering them or causing pain. Yes, a mask and washing your hands seem harmless, but to someone with SPD, they are causes for more pain. Let’s change our habits of saying, “Oh, that doesn’t hurt” or “How can that hurt” into encouragements, “I’m sorry it hurts” or “Is there anything I can do to help ease your pain?”

by Erin Nowicki

The Prince

I don’t think Charles Perrault, the Brother’s Grimm, Hans Christian Anderson, or even J.K. Rowling could’ve created a better prince than the prince who was put into my story. Jon Nowicki is his name and Prince Charming has nothing on him…sorry Char. :p

Here’s a little background on hunky and then I will ask him some questions for you to get a glimpse into what it’s like being married to someone with Sensory Processing Disorder.

Jon was born in Wisconsin and moved to Florida in 5th grade. He has a degree in Music Ministry with an emphasis in percussion and is an incredible drummer. Not only do I get to have him as my drummer for Hello Wonder, he also drums for another awesome band called Flatfoot 56. H enjoys golfing (any Chicago golfers looking for a golfing buddy??), traveling, camping, and cooking.

The thing I love most about him is how much he cares about me. He has never pressured me to do anything I didn’t want to do, he always makes sure I’m comfortable (or at least as comfy as I can be), makes me laugh, feeds my unicorn obsession and is the most selfless person I know. Living with someone who has SPD, can be extremely difficult and I appreciate him so much because he’s patient, always willing to learn, and loves me for me.

♕Interview with a REAL prince♕

Were you aware of Erin having SPD before you got married?

Prince:

I found out about her SPD while we were getting to know each other. I went along and asked and did all the things people do when they find out about it (sorry Erin :)). During the first few months, it was hard to disconnect my fear of “hurting” her or causing her pain.

In the end, it came down to the fact that sometimes the emotional pain of SPD can be harder than the physical pain. Treating her like a “sick” person or steering clear of any physical contact can be just as hard. It took a long time for me to fully process it, but I’ve come to a point where I can be aware of her SPD, but it doesn’t control how I treat her. 

How do you support Erin when she is in a flare up?

Prince:

The best thing I’ve found is to ask what she needs. Communication is a big aspect of steering through the waters of SPD. It’s something we continually try to improve. I can assume that I know what may help, and sometimes I’m lucky, but other times the things that sometimes help could actually make the scenario worse.  Always ask what you can do before you assume what’s best.  

What’s the hardest part of living with someone that has severe SPD?

Prince:

One of the hardest parts for me is not being able to fully relate to her when she is in pain.  Sometimes I feel completely useless when she is flaring up, because I literally can’t do anything to help. That feeling of not being able to do anything for her is always the hardest part. 

How do you cope with the lack of intimacy?

Prince:

There is no real easy answer for this.  It is difficult. As Erin previously said, physical touch is one of my main love languages. The first years of our marriage have been tough. Learning how to live together, become adults, and manage all of it with SPD as well as processing her trauma has been a challenge.

If you know me, I am a fairly easy going, laid back individual. This along with the blessing of patience has helped me a lot with the intimacy aspect of our marriage.  Through the years I’ve also had great friends/mentors alongside of me who have been there for me.  It never hurts to have someone to be able to talk to, even if they don’t fully understand the scope of SPD. Personal honesty and open communication will give you the best chance for success. 

Erin is great about pushing through the pain to meet my needs. An extra hug/kiss/holding hands moment means so much to me. 

Do you have another question for Jon that you’d like answered? Please feel free to leave a comment below or direct message me on the Contacts page. No question is too awkward or uncomfortable, so be free. If I get enough questions, I will drop another blog post with his answers for you all to have.

by Erin Nowicki

The Princess

Hi there, my name is Erin and I am a 30-year old, blue haired, unicorn-believin’ girl and the princess in this tale (aka my blog).

I was born in Würzburg, Germany, to the most incredible parents. My dad was in the Army my entire life, hence why I wasn’t born stateside. While growing up, we lived in Germany twice, Georgia and Tennessee. I have 2 birth sisters and 5 adopted siblings (3 girls, 2 boys).

In 2007, I moved to Memphis, TN, to go to a music college and that is where I met my hunky husband, Jon. After we graduated in 2010, with Bachelor’s Degrees in Music Ministry, we got married that following Fall. About 2 years after that, we moved to Belgium to be full-time missionaries. It was the most life-changing time of our married life. We got to travel, gain lifetime friends, train musicians, and just be adventurers. Unfortunately, we were only there for 15 months because we ran out of money (for the record…MONEY SUCKS). Those 15 months flew by, but we will never forget our time there and we still miss Belgium and the people there every single day.

Jon and I then moved to Illinois, which is where we are now. We live right outside the city of Chicago with our adorable pup, Macaroni. Currently, I am a full time nanny and I absolutely love my job. I chose to be a nanny because I love being around kids- they help keep my imagination young and keep my creativity flowing.

Speaking of creativity; MUSIC is what I am most passionate about in the entire world. I am a singer and a songwriter as well as a worship leader. I have a band called, Hello Wonder, and it is a dream come true. The ultimate dream is to do that full time, but for now, I’m thankful for what I have and that goal I’m working toward.

Alright, that’s it for now. This is your last chance to turn back from reading this blog. 😉 The posts from now on will be diving into more vulnerable, uncomfortable (but necessary), subjects pertaining to my Sensory Processing Disorder, mental health, sex, and some other things. I ask you to open your mind and leave judgment outside. I also invite you to come along with me to learn and to be enlightened. BUT—only come along on your own terms. You know what you can and can’t handle-so be free.