Tag / chicago

by Erin Nowicki

Ouch! It’s Been A Long Time…

Can you believe I haven’t posted on here since 2020…I literally think about this blog every week so I didn’t realized that it had been quite that long. 🤭 My life has changed a lot since 2020, except for the fact that I still live with SPD, so I thought I would update you a bit and share some thoughts I have on the future of this blog.

Farewell Chi-Town!

After 7 years of living up north in Chicago, Illinois, Jon, Macaroni and I decided to move to Florida, to start a new adventure. We really enjoyed living in Chicago, made life-changing relationships, and made amazing memories that will always live in our hearts. There were many factors in our decision to move, but the main reason was because of our mental health. The winters in Chi-town can be grueling and each year we could see that our mental health was getting worse and worse during those dark, cold months. With the pandemic and other major life changes on top of those long winters, it was only right for us to go somewhere new and sunny to continue our journey in this life.

Why Florida?

Jon grew up in Florida, so we initially thought we’d land in Orlando, especially since his parents and a lot of friends are there. A month and a half after living with his folks and both of us not finding jobs we wanted, Jon got a job offer as a golf instructor for a company called GOLFTEC down in St. Petersburg, Florida. The day before Thanksgiving, with the help of Jon’s parents, we loaded up a U-Haul and drove to our new apartment. That same day, I had an interview with an amazing family for a nanny position, which I accepted and have been with ever since.

The west coast has always called our names and we really wanted to try and move out that way, but the timing wasn’t right. St. Pete, also known as “Sunshine City,” has really captured both of our hearts. We live 10-15 minutes from the most beautiful beaches and 10 minutes from a really fun downtown. There are tons of outdoorsy things for us to do and it’s been a great city to live in. It has a California vibe but on a smaller level, which for right now is totally great for us.

The Blog

In the past, when I was trying to collect info and write blog posts, I kept noticing that my sensory would always be heightened..so… I just stopped writing all together. Honestly, I put so much pressure on myself to get posts out that my body would shut down. Then I’d put so much guilt on my shoulders because I was “failing” at this blog or letting the world down.

The whole purpose of this blog was to share a glimpse into my life as a person living with Sensory Processing Disorder, possibly to help others with their own SPD journey, and to help bring an awareness to people who aren’t familiar with this disorder. If that was the goal, which it 100% still is, then there doesn’t need to be any room in my brain for guilt or fear. So, as of April 23, 2023, I give myself permission to write when I want, to be guilt free, and to let the pressure dissipate. Done and done.

All of that to say: I will still be writing blog posts, but I’m not going to put any pressure on myself or body to do it with a deadline. I’m going to be “free-blogging” a.k.a. writing when I feel inspired to. When I’ve done something like this with other things in my life, I have felt more fulfilled, so it’s only natural for that to be the case this time around. As a reader, I know that you want someone who’s writing with passion, a purpose and true authenticity, not someone who’s writing to just write. So, that’s what you’re gonna get!

Your Turn

I don’t want this blog to be all about me. There is a world out there filled with others just like me…I want to hear from you! Family’s or friend’s of people with SPD, I want to hear from you! If you have any questions or are interested in wanting to know something specific, I want to hear from you!

What do you want me to write about? As a reader, what are you wanting to read? Drop a comment on this post or if you want to keep your thoughts/questions anonymous, fill out the form on my contact page.

Over and Out

Thank you for choosing to use your time to catch up with me. I hope this post finds you pursuing a healthy, whole life, because you deserve that and SO much more. Stay magical. 🦄

by Erin Nowicki

The Prince

I don’t think Charles Perrault, the Brother’s Grimm, Hans Christian Anderson, or even J.K. Rowling could’ve created a better prince than the prince who was put into my story. Jon Nowicki is his name and Prince Charming has nothing on him…sorry Char. :p

Here’s a little background on hunky and then I will ask him some questions for you to get a glimpse into what it’s like being married to someone with Sensory Processing Disorder.

Jon was born in Wisconsin and moved to Florida in 5th grade. He has a degree in Music Ministry with an emphasis in percussion and is an incredible drummer. Not only do I get to have him as my drummer for Hello Wonder, he also drums for another awesome band called Flatfoot 56. H enjoys golfing (any Chicago golfers looking for a golfing buddy??), traveling, camping, and cooking.

The thing I love most about him is how much he cares about me. He has never pressured me to do anything I didn’t want to do, he always makes sure I’m comfortable (or at least as comfy as I can be), makes me laugh, feeds my unicorn obsession and is the most selfless person I know. Living with someone who has SPD, can be extremely difficult and I appreciate him so much because he’s patient, always willing to learn, and loves me for me.

♕Interview with a REAL prince♕

Were you aware of Erin having SPD before you got married?

Prince:

I found out about her SPD while we were getting to know each other. I went along and asked and did all the things people do when they find out about it (sorry Erin :)). During the first few months, it was hard to disconnect my fear of “hurting” her or causing her pain.

In the end, it came down to the fact that sometimes the emotional pain of SPD can be harder than the physical pain. Treating her like a “sick” person or steering clear of any physical contact can be just as hard. It took a long time for me to fully process it, but I’ve come to a point where I can be aware of her SPD, but it doesn’t control how I treat her. 

How do you support Erin when she is in a flare up?

Prince:

The best thing I’ve found is to ask what she needs. Communication is a big aspect of steering through the waters of SPD. It’s something we continually try to improve. I can assume that I know what may help, and sometimes I’m lucky, but other times the things that sometimes help could actually make the scenario worse.  Always ask what you can do before you assume what’s best.  

What’s the hardest part of living with someone that has severe SPD?

Prince:

One of the hardest parts for me is not being able to fully relate to her when she is in pain.  Sometimes I feel completely useless when she is flaring up, because I literally can’t do anything to help. That feeling of not being able to do anything for her is always the hardest part. 

How do you cope with the lack of intimacy?

Prince:

There is no real easy answer for this.  It is difficult. As Erin previously said, physical touch is one of my main love languages. The first years of our marriage have been tough. Learning how to live together, become adults, and manage all of it with SPD as well as processing her trauma has been a challenge.

If you know me, I am a fairly easy going, laid back individual. This along with the blessing of patience has helped me a lot with the intimacy aspect of our marriage.  Through the years I’ve also had great friends/mentors alongside of me who have been there for me.  It never hurts to have someone to be able to talk to, even if they don’t fully understand the scope of SPD. Personal honesty and open communication will give you the best chance for success. 

Erin is great about pushing through the pain to meet my needs. An extra hug/kiss/holding hands moment means so much to me. 

Do you have another question for Jon that you’d like answered? Please feel free to leave a comment below or direct message me on the Contacts page. No question is too awkward or uncomfortable, so be free. If I get enough questions, I will drop another blog post with his answers for you all to have.