Tag / army

by Erin Nowicki

Pinocchio

I promise I won’t label every blog after a fairytale…sometimes I just can’t help that I relate so much to fairytales. I guess it’s because I’m a REAL princess. 😉

“Can you please rate your pain level for me: 10 being the worst and 1 being the best?”

For someone with Sensory Processing Disorder, this can be a difficult question to answer. The thing is, for me, something as simple as running into a doorframe makes my arm feel like it’s immediately bruised or even cut open; to the point where I sometimes get shocked that I’m not bleeding like crazy because it hurts so bad. So, when someone asks me how bad it hurts or to compare the pain to something, my gauge is most likely wrong in a sense. I wasn’t planning on sharing this story (because it’s kind of embarrassing hehe), but it popped in my head while writing this and thought you might like it.

When I was 13 or 14 years old, my family moved off of the Army base and into our first owned house. On moving day, we had been offloading the truck with all of our furniture. It took us the entire day and even when the sun went down, we were still moving stuff. I decided to take a break and go explore my new backyard. The yard was dimly lit, but I saw this beat up dodgeball laying on the ground. And as any kid does when they see a ball and a big backyard before them, they run up and kick it as hard as they can.

It. Wasn’t. A. Ball.

This story is so funny to me now because I legitimately thought that silly rock was a dodgeball and after looking at it the next day, it clearly looked nothing like a ball. Although, in that moment it was embarrassing because honestly, I felt so stupid. My purpose wasn’t only to make you smile with my clumsiness, but to give you an example of how difficult it is to answer the “rate your pain” question.

I have never broken a bone in my life, but in that moment I sure thought I had broken my foot on that massive rock. As soon as I gained my composure, I ran inside the house and called my parents, while sobbing and freaking out because my foot had to be broken. As my parents hurried to take off my shoe and check it out, you guessed it, nothing was wrong with it at all. Are you serious?! What about my toe? It has to be broken! What, it’s not?! But it hurts so incredibly bad, how could nothing be broken?

I hadn’t been diagnosed with SPD yet, so we didn’t realize that I was truly feeling excruciating pain…even though it obviously was not even close to being broken. They asked me to rate my pain and of course I rated it a high 10, but because the physical sight didn’t prove this rating to be accurate, they gave me some ice and I was walking around 10 minutes later with a perfectly fine foot.

This is the part where Pinocchio comes in. 😀

Over the years I’ve had to make decisions when it comes to rating my pain for doctors or even people when they are curious about how different things make me feel. I am thankful I’m not Pinocchio because sometimes I’ve chosen to lie when people ask me if it hurt. I would have a long nose with a cute, little birds nest on the end. 😀

Now I don’t usually condone lying, but when someone asks me if something hurts, and I can logically see that it probably shouldn’t be hurting, I will sometimes choose to lie and say that it doesn’t hurt. I guess my thought is that I don’t want to have to explain my entire disorder, then proceed to explain that it does hurt even though what they are probably doing doesn’t bring pain for a “normal” person, or admit to them that something silly hurts me….wow that was a mouthful.

Maybe this is justifying my lying or maybe not, but a question I ask myself: is it really lying or is it me fighting my disorder in order to strive for “normality”? I like to think of it that way, because it helps me to keep going and fighting this frustrating and maddening disorder. So, if being Pinocchio is my fate, I accept it for now. 😀

Do you have a hard time rating your pain? Do you pull the Pinocchio card to get out of having to explain SPD? I would love to hear from you about how you make those ratings- drop a comment below or feel free to email me!

by Erin Nowicki

The Princess

Hi there, my name is Erin and I am a 30-year old, blue haired, unicorn-believin’ girl and the princess in this tale (aka my blog).

I was born in Würzburg, Germany, to the most incredible parents. My dad was in the Army my entire life, hence why I wasn’t born stateside. While growing up, we lived in Germany twice, Georgia and Tennessee. I have 2 birth sisters and 5 adopted siblings (3 girls, 2 boys).

In 2007, I moved to Memphis, TN, to go to a music college and that is where I met my hunky husband, Jon. After we graduated in 2010, with Bachelor’s Degrees in Music Ministry, we got married that following Fall. About 2 years after that, we moved to Belgium to be full-time missionaries. It was the most life-changing time of our married life. We got to travel, gain lifetime friends, train musicians, and just be adventurers. Unfortunately, we were only there for 15 months because we ran out of money (for the record…MONEY SUCKS). Those 15 months flew by, but we will never forget our time there and we still miss Belgium and the people there every single day.

Jon and I then moved to Illinois, which is where we are now. We live right outside the city of Chicago with our adorable pup, Macaroni. Currently, I am a full time nanny and I absolutely love my job. I chose to be a nanny because I love being around kids- they help keep my imagination young and keep my creativity flowing.

Speaking of creativity; MUSIC is what I am most passionate about in the entire world. I am a singer and a songwriter as well as a worship leader. I have a band called, Hello Wonder, and it is a dream come true. The ultimate dream is to do that full time, but for now, I’m thankful for what I have and that goal I’m working toward.

Alright, that’s it for now. This is your last chance to turn back from reading this blog. 😉 The posts from now on will be diving into more vulnerable, uncomfortable (but necessary), subjects pertaining to my Sensory Processing Disorder, mental health, sex, and some other things. I ask you to open your mind and leave judgment outside. I also invite you to come along with me to learn and to be enlightened. BUT—only come along on your own terms. You know what you can and can’t handle-so be free.